


Utica And Tina Go To Panera And Fight The Bread Stealing Pirates

by orphan_account



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Asian Chicken Salad, Bread Bowls, Drama, F/F, Gottmik n Kandy are pirates, Skk, and they try to steal Utica's bread bowl, but the gang being tina and utica only, mac n cheese, the gang is back at panera, tina is canonically annoyed at utica, yo-ho-ho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29539374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Tina and Utica go back to Panera again for some smackin food, they're once again faced by the bread thieving pirates.
Relationships: Gottmik/Kandy Muse, Tina Burner/Utica Queen
Kudos: 5





	Utica And Tina Go To Panera And Fight The Bread Stealing Pirates

**Author's Note:**

> i went to the ranch today and the new horse there bit my butt when i wasn't looking

Utica kookily sighed as she watched Tina put on her Ronald McDonald cosplay. Holy ding dang heck, Utica thought, she looked mighty fine.

"Fuck are you looking at?" Tina annoyingly said and Utica motioned to Tina.

"Hm. Well get your skinny ass ready, I want me some salad." Utica nodded and changed into a super goth outfit, spiky choker and thigh high Demonia's in tact. They hopped in Tina's 2002 Pontiac Aztek and sped off to Panera, nearly hitting a few pedestrians on the way. Tina drifted into a parking spot and they got out and literally ran into Panera.

"Whew, I'm outta breath!" Utica said and Tina rolled her eyes.

"Hey Nina, how are you?" Tina kindly asked her with a smile.

"Oh I'm just fine and dandy! What can I get for you ladies?"

"I'll have the Asian chicken salad, please." Nina nodded and put it in the computer.

"And how about you, Utica?" Utica pressed her fingers all uwu like and stepped up.

"May I please have the mac n cheese and a bread bowl?" Nina nodded and put it in the computer again.

"That'll be out shortly. Enjoy!" Tina and Utica thanked the toe loving lady and sat down at a booth.

"Any plans for today?" Utica asked Tina who scoffed.

"UGH YOU DUMB BITCH!!! I'm spending the day with you like ALWAYS seeing how we LIVE TOGETHER!!!!" Utica forgot about that part.

"Oh yeah." Soon after, RuPaul brought out their meals.

"Enjoy, charisma uniqueness nerve and talents." She rollerbladed off and Utica devoured her mac n cheese and clam chowder filled bread bowl.

"Damn, slow down," Tina said in an irritated tone and gave Utica a dirty look.

"But I'm so hungry, you've only fed me Reese's peanut butter cups for the last four days." Tina rolled her eyes and ate her salad when - oh no!

"Yarrrr! We're here to steal yer bread!" Kandy said, swinging in on a rope and Gottmik followed behind her.

"Aye, your bread bowl is ours, Utica!" Utica looked at them in fear but then realized Jesus was on her side.

"You can't take my bread bowl, Jesus forbids it!" Kandy and Gottmik looked at each other in confusion.

"Now get!" Utica threw her Squirt at them and Kandy and Gottmik ran away.

"Argh, this ain't the last of us matey!" Gottmik said and Kandy agreed.

"Yo-ho-ho, you'll be seein much more of us!" They got in their pirate themed 1970 AMC Gremlin and drove away.

"Good job Utica!" Nina said and high fived her. Utica sat back down with Tina, who was enjoying her favorite salad. Utica scarfed down her bread bowl and they ordered lemon cookies to go. They ate them on the drive home and watched Rapal's Dark Res once they got home. Life is great! Utica thought. Suddenly, they heard a window break and Utica clung onto Tina.

"Get off me weirdo!" Tina pushed Utica off of her and she fell off the couch and bumped her head on the coffee table.

"Rude. Anyways, what was that?!" Tina stood up and went into the bedroom, where the sound came from and returned with a note attached to a rock.

"Look!" Utica took it and read it aloud.

"Argh, how dare ye steal our bread! Well, not steal if but you know. You two lesbian lovers have another thing coming! Yo-ho-ho!" Utica shivered at the thought of what was to come and Tina rolled her eyes.

"Whatever." The got up to repair the window and Utica felt unsettled. What could this mean?!


End file.
